Tasty Tuesday: Headless Chicken Soup

11 Dec

chickenIf you strive for the brass ring of The Perfect Christmas  even though the merry-go-round makes you dizzy, this recipe is for you!  

Headless Chicken Soup

1 headless, featherless, skinless chicken, no feet either

1 large onion, sliced

2 cups carrots

1 cup celery

salt & pepper

2 bay leaves

parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme

Put chicken in a large pot and cover with cold water. Add vegetables and herbs, salt and pepper.  Bring to a boil.

Answer phone. It’s your daughter calling. She is on her way to a play date with a friend, but her husband took the car to work, along with the car seat for their 3 -year old, so she needs to borrow your car seat. No problem, you say. Except you need to drive it over to her house. 

Turn off the stove, get into the car and drive 5 minutes to your daughter’s house. Give her the car seat. Drive back home. 

Turn on the stove again. Run downstairs and put on a load of laundry. Start writing a few Christmas cards. When the chicken comes to a boil, turn it down and simmer for two hours while you make cookie dough for your friends’ Cookie Exchange. 

Roll out the cookie dough and cut into cute little star shapes with a cookie cutter. Put in oven to bake. Take the cooked chicken out of the pot, saving the chicken broth. Pull the meat off the chicken, throwing out the bones and carcass. 

Answer the doorbell. It’s your neighbour, wanting to borrow your coffee urn for her Christmas party. Go down to the basement and rummage through the closet until you find the coffee urn. It’s covered in dust. Clean it off, and while you’re down there, throw on another load of laundry.

Give the coffee urn to your neighbour. 

Start your Christmas gift wrapping. Make a note to buy more scotch tape.

You smell something burning. Open the oven and take out the burnt cookies. Throw them in the trash.

Cut up the chicken into pieces. 

Answer the phone. It’s your other daughter, and she’s had a bad day. She hates her job, men and life in general. While you listen sympathetically, add the cut up chicken to the broth and add more celery, carrots and onion. Add any leftover vegetables you happen to have in the fridge. Pour yourself a glass of wine. 

Help your daughter through her crisis, say goodbye, finish off the wine and pour another glass. 

Add more herbs to the soup. Whatever you feel like, it doesn’t really matter. Add rice, pasta or barley. Or all three, it really doesn’t matter. 

Call your friend and tell her you can’t take part in the Cookie Exchange this year. She says all the right things, but you wonder how she really feels. Drink more wine.

Simmer soup until vegetables and rice, pasta and/or barley are softened. Turn off stove. 

Greet hubby at door. Serve the soup for supper. It tastes awful and looks like mush. You forgot to add more salt. The rice, pasta and barley are overcooked and have absorbed a lot of the liquid broth, so now your chicken soup is more like stew. You realize too late that you should have decided on rice, pasta OR barley, not all three. And maybe cloves wasn’t such a great choice for a spice. 

Burst into tears while your husband murmurs sweet things and pats your shoulder. Say ‘yes’ when he suggests you go out to dinner. 

What does your Perfect Christmas look like? 

Please drop by my fellow Tasty Tuesday authors who are changing the world one word and recipe at a time:

Rolled Sugar Cookies by ACatherine Noon

Fun Fabulous Focaccia Feast by Selena Robins

14 Responses to “Tasty Tuesday: Headless Chicken Soup”

  1. Selena Robins Musings December 11, 2012 at 12:20 am #

    L.M.A.O.!!! Very clever and so true some days. LOL Love this post.

    Moral of the recipe, make sure to ALWAYS have wine on hand. 🙂

    • nancyelauzon December 11, 2012 at 9:14 am #

      And don’t overdo it with the multi-tasking!

      • Selena Robins Musings December 11, 2012 at 9:57 am #

        Now that is asking way too much. LOL Multi-tasking is how I live and get myself in trouble of course 😉

  2. A. Catherine Noon December 11, 2012 at 8:38 am #

    I had so much fun reading this that I forgot to make breakfast! ~grin~

  3. moirakeith December 11, 2012 at 9:15 am #

    Thanks for this Nancy. Really brought a smile to my face.

    • nancyelauzon December 11, 2012 at 9:26 pm #

      I’m glad, Moira. We gals could really use a couple of elves at this time of year!

  4. Kathleen Kaska December 11, 2012 at 6:25 pm #

    This was one of your best, Nancy. It reminded me of a party I gave once where very few people showed up. After slaving all day in the kitchen, I was so mad I fed everything to the disposal. My husband was out of town so I had to cry and drink alone.

    • nancyelauzon December 11, 2012 at 9:29 pm #

      Omigosh, that’s horrible. I knew a woman who slaved over dinner for her husband and 2 sons, and they made some comment about the meal, so she took all her dishes and threw them out the back door. Smashed every one to smithereens, LOL. Her husband bought her a new set 😉

  5. PG Forte December 11, 2012 at 8:10 pm #

    Best recipe ever. 😉

    • nancyelauzon December 11, 2012 at 9:30 pm #

      Hey, it was your idea — you’re an inspiration!

  6. 4amWriter December 13, 2012 at 5:19 am #

    This is quite true. I marvel at people who can throw together a perfect meal with all of life’s interruptions. At least you’re smart enough to keep plenty of wine around. 😉

    • nancyelauzon December 14, 2012 at 10:34 am #

      What would we do without booze at Christmas time? And sherry … don’t forget the sherry!

  7. Angelique J. Forbes January 7, 2013 at 11:22 pm #

    Nutrition per 1/2 cup prepared soup: 236 calories, 7g fat, 36g carbs, 6g protein.

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