Dating School for Completely Clueless Men: Mr. Leech

25 Jan

Due to the increasing deluge of dating horror stories out there, I’ve decided to open up my own Dating School. Each week I’ll feature a letter from some poor, clueless bastard looking for dating advice along his journey toward true love. Dating is a social activity, requiring common courtesy, honesty, good communication skills and a bit of common sense. Sadly, it appears many young men these days lack the above basic requirements. 

What makes me such an expert? I’ve been married for 34 years, so I know a little about how relationships work, how men work and how love works. Three of my four published novels are romances, so I know a little about romance, too. And even though there are probably an equal amount of clueless single women, my dating school will focus on clueless men, since that’s a perspective I’m more familiar with.

Here is this week’s letter:

Dear DSCCM:bad date

I met someone on an online dating site and we corresponded by email for a few weeks. We both agreed we had a connection. Our first date went very well, the conversation flowed smoothly and we made out in the car after dinner. We went to a movie for our second date. By this time I found myself completely gaga over this girl, and since I’m a touchy-feely, romantic guy, I was very demonstrative about my feelings. While standing in the concession line at the movie theatre, I asked her for a kiss every five minutes and kept my arms around her. While watching the movie, I wrapped my legs around hers and stared at her through most of the movie.

As the evening wore on I noticed her getting more and more uncomfortable and asking for more space, but I put it down to nerves. As we left the theatre I took every opportunity to hold her hand (even though most of the time she kept them in her pockets). I thought we would go back to her place, but she ended the date, saying she had to get up early the next day (even though it was a Sunday). I thought the date went really well, but the next day she texted me and ended the relationship. Where did I go wrong? I was sure she liked me, and girls are always complaining that guys don’t show their feelings, and aren’t romantic enough, so that’s what I was trying to do.

Larry Leech

Dear LL:

Yeah, being mauled in public on the 2nd date is my idea of romance, too. NOT.  There’s a difference between being affectionate and having a fatal attraction. You didn’t listen to your date or pay attention to her body language. Give your libido a rest, you’re putting out way too much too soon.  Women like attention, but when it’s ill-timed or over-the-top, it can freak them out and is very unattractive. The next time you’re on a date, cool your jets and breathe. Let the connection happen naturally, and don’t force it.

Looking for dating advice for someone you know? Or maybe you have a horrific dating story you’d like to share? Let me hear from you, I’m all ears!

6 Responses to “Dating School for Completely Clueless Men: Mr. Leech”

  1. 4amWriter January 26, 2013 at 6:00 am #

    Very funny. Cute idea!!

  2. Selena Robins Musings January 27, 2013 at 7:29 pm #

    L.M.A.O.! I’d volunteer to teach at this Dating School for Clueless Men, but we both know what happens when we decide to teach anything together. I’m thinking something may land on the clueless man’s head, and I’d be in big trouble. LOL

    • nancyelauzon January 27, 2013 at 7:32 pm #

      Yeah, bad mojo when you and I get together, LOL

      • Selena Robins Musings January 27, 2013 at 8:11 pm #

        Nothing to do with Mojo, it’s the crazy people that take classes. LOL Wonder why all the clueless men aren’t flocking here to get some good advice. Oh yeah, I know, they have no clue that they’re clueless…LOL


  1. Dating School for Completely Clueless Men: Mr. Big « The Chick Dick Mysteries - February 1, 2013

    […] first week of my Dating School for Completely Clueless Men has exceeded all of my expectations. The letters keep pouring in.  Clearly there are a lot of […]

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