“If you have any poo…fling it now!”

23 Apr
Mason the Chimp

Mason the Chimp
Madagascar, 2005

I was introduced to these wise words by my three-year-old grandson, who is a Madagascar fan. He chortles and slaps his knee whenever he hears this famous quote by Mason the Chimp. He also likes to whisper it in my ear and watch my feigned horrified reaction. 

But in addition to delighting children, this savvy piece of advice is pretty useful in most circumstances. I’m not the only one who thinks this way. “If you have any poo…fling it now” has its own Facebook page, featuring 241 likes and the following endorsement:  

“In any situation, no matter how desperate, this might just be the best piece of advice ever given…”

Everyone has days when they feel like flinging poo — like yesterday, for example. I take my grandson to pre-school every Monday and Tuesday morning. We leave his house by way of the garage, since I don’t have a key to lock the door behind me. When I forgot my car keys inside the house, I entered the code in the garage door console, but the door wouldn’t open, even though I’d just closed it. After several attempts, I gave up and called my daughter at work, figuring I must be losing my mind and putting in the wrong code. No, it turns out the battery in the console has been slowly crapping out, and now it’s dead, apparently. Apologies all around. What do you mean you don’t have a key? my daughter says. I don’t know, I just don’t, I tell her.

Long story short, my son-in-law’s brother’s wife came to our rescue, drove us to the pre-school where I dropped my grandson off, and then she drove me home. Sweet girl. Luckily we have a 2nd car, so I was able to go downtown and run my planned errands for the day. Just when I thought the day was improving, I get slapped with a $90 parking ticket.

If I had had some poo, I would definitely have flung it at that moment. Since I didn’t, I imagined how it would feel to do it, and that was the next best thing.

Have you ever felt like flinging some poo? I say, go for it. Whenever you’re frustrated, irritated or forced to defend yourself against the morons and bullies of the world, fling some poo, even if it’s only in your head. It’ll make you feel better. 

Talk to me ;)

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